When I first started my walk with God, I believed there was a major regeneration (at “conversion”) that took place instantaniously when once prayed the prayer of salvation, and the path to holiness continued from there. Having been in the faith for now over 3 years, I realize that regeneration  is a process that should happen daily, because none of us will reach holiness until Jesus’ return. I have started to realize the reality of regeneration from the reading of 3 books. I am currently in the process of reading “When God writes your love story” by Eric & Leslie Ludy, “The Bumps Are What YOu Climb On” by Warren Wiersbe and “The Pursuit of Holiness” by Jerry Bridges. In and of themselves, these books are extremely challenging and cause deep self-examination but reading them concurrently has really allowed God to drive home some important points.

In attempting to stay transparent with you I will share a few things that God has revealed/challenged me on thus far. (I am currently on chapter 3 of each book).

1. Not living out God’s plan for my life out of fear of disappointing Him.
2. Not allowing God to be Lord over all area’s of my life.
3. Being a safe/lukewarm Christian. (In terms of not striving for holiness, but just doing enough)

As I continue to read each of these books and meditate on God I will share more on what I learn and changes I plan to make. Stay tuned for more.

So ……. I cut it all off. Well not ALL off but its a pretty dramatic difference. At first, I felt really liberated and happy that I did it, but then an hour went by and I severely regretted doing it. I knew my family was going to freak out but there was nothing I could do. After a couple of days, Im sure it will grow on me but for now I’m still trying to get used to it. Here are some pictures (click to enlarge)… First are some pictures from before. Then you will see when I did the kinky twists for the first time (2 days, 11 hours). Then are pics from the second time I did kinky twists (1 day, 10 hours). Then you will see pics 2 days after the BC.

Daily Digest – December 17, 2009

John 13:1-20 (New International Version)

1It was just before the Passover Feast. Jesus knew that the time had come for him to leave this world and go to the Father. Having loved his own who were in the world, he now showed them the full extent of his love.[a] 2The evening meal was being served, and the devil had already prompted Judas Iscariot, son of Simon, to betray Jesus. 3Jesus knew that the Father had put all things under his power, and that he had come from God and was returning to God; 4so he got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist. 5After that, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples’ feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him. 6He came to Simon Peter, who said to him, “Lord, are you going to wash my feet?” 7Jesus replied, “You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand.” 8″No,” said Peter, “you shall never wash my feet.” Jesus answered, “Unless I wash you, you have no part with me.” 9″Then, Lord,” Simon Peter replied, “not just my feet but my hands and my head as well!” 10Jesus answered, “A person who has had a bath needs only to wash his feet; his whole body is clean. And you are clean, though not every one of you.” 11For he knew who was going to betray him, and that was why he said not every one was clean. 12When he had finished washing their feet, he put on his clothes and returned to his place. “Do you understand what I have done for you?” he asked them. 13″You call me ‘Teacher’ and ‘Lord,’ and rightly so, for that is what I am. 14Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet. 15I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. 16I tell you the truth, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. 17Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them. Jesus Predicts His Betrayal 18″I am not referring to all of you; I know those I have chosen. But this is to fulfill the scripture: ‘He who shares my bread has lifted up his heel against me.’[b] 19″I am telling you now before it happens, so that when it does happen you will believe that I am He. 20I tell you the truth, whoever accepts anyone I send accepts me; and whoever accepts me accepts the one who sent me.”

This is going to be interesting to meditate on today because this tells me that in order to be a leader, you have to know how to follow, in order to be served, you have to first serve. I don’t ever want to get to a place in my life were I think I am too good or too important to step outside of myself to serve other people. As we are in this Christmas season, people usually want to give their time to volunteer with the homeless or take a few extra dollars to donate, but what about the other 11 months of the year? If Jesus, being fully God and fully man, become a servant and wash other people’s feet, I should be modeling myself after Him and constantly serving others. Who have you served today?

This is a new series that I am starting. Everyday I will randomly open up my Bible, read what’s in front of me, digest it and pray to see how I can apply this to my life.

Romans 1:16 (NIV): 16I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes: first for the Jew, then for the Gentile.

2 Timothy 1:8-9, 12 (NIV): 8So do not be ashamed to testify about our Lord, or ashamed of me his prisoner. But join with me in suffering for the gospel, by the power of God, 9who has saved us and called us to a holy life—not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace. This grace was given us in Christ Jesus before the beginning of time, …  12That is why I am suffering as I am. Yet I am not ashamed, because I know whom I have believed, and am convinced that he is able to guard what I have entrusted to him for that day.

I was amazed this morning when I opened up randomly to Romans 1, read about not being ashamed and then wanting a new verse to discuss, I randomly opened up to 2 Timothy only to read another verse about not being ashamed. This is why I stand in awe of God every day, He is fully in control. Why would God point out to me twice, not to be ashamed of the Gospel. It dawned on me that starting tomorrow I will be starting a new job, I don’t know if any of the people I will be working with know the reality of the gospel and it is important for me not to be ashamed to proclaim the gospel. Since I am relatively new to the faith, I am not confident when it comes to talking about God but I have been praying that He uses the Holy Spirit to work in me and through me to make me more confident and to also help me step out of my comfort zone and place me in situations where I can talk about the great things that God has done for me.

I take these two scriptures very seriously and will be preparing to boldly confess that Jesus Christ is Lord over my life and that I AM NOT ASHAMED to say so!

That’s when I realized that I am nobody. I haven’t written any books, I haven’t committed any crimes. I’m not a celebrity, I’m not rich, I am not an inventor or a great public speaker. When you Google my name, you will find a few pages but nothing of significance or importance. To the world I am nobody. To me I am everything. I love being me and I wouldn’t change it for the world. My motto is “I was born an original, why die a copy”, I am who I am, nothing more nothing less. I am simply complex. I am perfectly imperfect. I embrace my flaws with open arms. I am Crisandra.

Below you will find some random things about me. Let it be a little glimpse into who I am …

10, 9, 8 ……

10 Things you wish you could say to ten different people:
1. Leave me alone…please.
2. Being a Christian is more than reading the Bible.
3. I am over you.
4. You will never understand me because I am an alien.
5. I am still in love with you.
6. I’m sorry, but I honestly don’t like you all that much.
7. I don’t trust you like I used to.
8. You smell and its really offensive.
9. For all we do…you don’t pay us enough.
10. I’m sorry

9 Things about yourself:
1. I am afraid of heights, even in the mall L
2. I love sweatpants and Timbs.
3. I love children

4. I desperately wish I could sing.
5. I’m in love with a man that I want to be my husband but scared to death that he isn’t.
6. I dislike technology, even though it’s my major.
7. I love to sleep.
8. I love to eat
9. I am afraid of commitment.

8 Ways to win my heart:
1. Have a sincere and deep relationship with God.
2. Make me laugh
3. Pay attention.
4. Be random and spontaneous.
5. Trust me enough to cry in front of me.
6. Remember the little things
7. Call me just to hear my voice.
8. Hug me

7 Things that cross my mind a lot:
1. How’s my relationship with God
2. Did I read today?
3. Will I get married?
4. My unborn children. (Dependent upon #3)
5. My previous addiction to pills and alcohol.
6. Music lyrics/melody
7. Why don’t I have any desire to have a relationship with my family?

6 Things I do before I go to sleep:
1. Shower
2. Eat a snack.
3. Wrap/comb/brush my hair.
4. Listen to music.
5. Change into my sleep dress.
6. Pray.

5 People I couldn’t live without:
(Keeping God as a given because He’s the only one that I could NOT live without.) (I don’t even think I have 5 people)
1. My Dad
2. My Mom
3. Fabian
4. Christopher
5. Tie between Steffi and Nate

4 Things I am wearing right now:
1. Hoodie
2. Tank Top
3. Socks
4. Flip Flops

3 Songs that fit my life perfectly(right now):
1. Turn It Around – Israel & New Breed
2. Bedda To Have Loved – Ginuwine
3. Restore Us Again – Ashmont Hill

2 Things I want to do before I die:
1. See the Taj Mahal
2. Have a real relationship with my brother

1 Confession:
My addiction to pills is still very real …

2008 ……

What did you do in 2008 that you’d never done before?
Allowed someone in the inner-most parts of my heart.

Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I didn’t make resolutions last year and didn’t make any this year. I have goals though.

Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yes and I miss my KiKi

Did anyone close to you die?
Thank God, No

What countries did you visit?
::Looks down with a frown::  … None

What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
A Degree

What date from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
December 29, 2008, The day my world fell apart

What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Being Baptized

What was your biggest failure?
Not taking care of myself physically

Did you suffer illness or injury?
Not more than I could bear, Its been an uphill fight but everyday I thank God for helping me make it through the pains and the sickness.

What was the best thing you bought?
Geomags, his reaction will forever be with me.

Whose behavior merited celebration?
My cousin Nish, she made some major attitude changes

Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Sadly enough, my family

Where did most of your money go?

Food lol (What!? Ain’t no shame in my game, respect my hustle)

What song will always remind you of 2008?
Tonight by Yolanda Adams

Compared to this time last year, are you:
- i. happier or sadder? Happier
- ii. thinner or fatter? Thinner (I think)
- iii. richer or poorer? Poorer (But God’s got me)

What do you wish you’d done more of?
Talking

What do you wish you’d done less of?
Internalizing

Did you fall in love in 2008?
Yes

How many one-night stands?
0

What was your favorite TV program?
House

Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
I don’t hate

What was the best book you read?
The Spirit Filled Woman

What was your greatest musical discovery?
Israel & New Breed

Lacrae

What did you want and get?
Air Max 95”s and an iPod

What did you want and not get?
Straight A’s

What were your favorite films of this year?
Secret Life of Bee’s

What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I went shopping for school stuff (seems to be a recurring theme) and I turned ::shhhhhhh:: 27

What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
2008 was exactly what it was supposed to be

How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?
It is what it is

What kept you sane?
God and music

Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Reggie Bush

Whom did you miss?

My friends before school

Who was the best new person(s) you met?
Kevin

Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008:
“Anything worth having is worth fighting for.”

Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:

I found an old photograph
I couldn’t help but laugh
I remember that day and it was the best of times
You were my first
My beginning and my end
Am I loosing my best friend
Am I coming or going and if this is goodbye
And now, where do we go from here
When everything seems so clear
Will I be left with the pain
Standing all alone out in the rain
Lost after the love is gone
When everything right turns wrong
And where do we go from here
Love have I run out of time
You said you’d always be mine
It’s hard to believe that somehow we’ve grown apart
Why the way that things have been
It just don’t make no sense
I’m so unprepared for the way I feel inside
And now, where do we go from here
When everything seems so clear
Will I be left with the pain
Standing all alone out in the rain
Lost after the love is gone
When everything right turns wrong
And where do we go from here
What happened to the flame
It don’t feel the same
I don’t know what to say, to
And where do we go from here
When everything seems so clear
Left with the pain
Standing all alone out in the rain
And lost after the love is gone
When everything right turns wrong
And where do we go from here, here, here
And now, where do we go from here
When everything seems so clear
Left with the pain
Standing all alone, standing all alone out in the rain
Lost after the love is gone
When everything right has gone wrong
And where do we go from here, from here

Brian Mcknight Where Do We Go From Here lyrics

50 Random Facts About Me

1.      When no one is around, I sing at the top of my lungs; getting lost in the melody and emotion. Carefree and joyous. A true lover of music.

2.      I am two opposites in one. I’m stilettos and sneaker. I am Black and White. I am quiet on the outside but screaming on the inside. I am a lover and a fighter. I am strong but weak when alone.

3.      I believe that love can conquer all.

4.      I am the Apple of My Father’s eye. (God). He loves me unconditionally, he tells me he loves me, he tells me I’m beautiful, he gives me hugs without asking, he gives me everything he has, he wipes away my tears and he never leaves, forsakes or lies to me.

5.      I am still learning who I am, what I like and where I want to be.

6.      My name is Crisandra but I wish my parents would have named me Kimberly.

7.      I love crying in the dark

8.      I am an accessory freak, especially earrings.

9.      I am rarely, if ever, late.

10. I dream about dying.

11. I am a grade whore.

12. I love wearing glasses.

13. I have a fascination with Kimora Lee

14. I drool

15. I daydream about my wedding day.

16. I prefer the company of men and boys as opposed to women and girls

17. I dislike with a passion talking on the phone

18. I want to make millions of dollars to give them away

19. I am allergic to gold.

20. I love being a big girl

21. I have an obsession with lip gloss.

22. Arm are the first thing I notice when I meet someone new

23. I lie about what I am doing to make people jealous.

24. I like being alone.

25. I love the smell of rubbing alcohol.

26. I have a secret relationship with fruit snacks.

27. If I were stranded on a desert island, I wouldn’t want to be with anyone else.

28. I wear a size 12 shoe.

29. I can’t dance.

30. I am a hopeless romantic. Like kiss in the rain, I’ll play you for your heart, I’d die without you, go to the ends of the Earth

Diary of a Mad Black Woman romantic:

Orlando: I’m in love with you.
Helen: How do you know that?
Orlando: I don’t know how to explain it to you.
Helen: Try.
Orlando: Helen, if I’m away from you for more than an hour, I can’t stop thinking about you. I carry you in my spirit. I pray for you more than I pray for myself. I’ve got it so bad for you I’d… I’d go to the grocery store and buy your feminine products, I swear I would.

Love and Basketball romantic:

Monica: I’ll play you

Quincy: What?

Monica: One game, one on one.

Quincy: For what?

Monica: Your heart!

Madea’s Family Reunion romantic:

Frankie:  Kids, mommy is going to talk to uncle frankie for a sec,

               we will be right back

               ok, look I’m sorry alright you were sleeping so peacefully and i know you’re tired

               now the kids were up and i didn’t want them to wake you

               so i took them out for some ice cream

               i just wanted you to rest

Vanessa:  nobody is going to hurt my kids

Frankie:  i love you don’t you know that i would never ever hurt your kids or you huh?

Vanessa:  i think that …

Frankie:  you think that? dont’ tell me what you think, hey tell me what you feel

Vanessa:  i feel that … you won’t hurt them

Frankie:  or you

Vanessa:  or me …

31. I talk a lot of crap

32. I love aggressive men

33. I’m hyper when I’m around people I know.

34. I love to laugh and embrace my laugh lines.

35. I want to save the world.

36. I want to be a dancer.

37. Years ago, I hated myself. Now I love me.

38. I pray in the bathroom

39. I am passive aggressive

40. I’m a simple person.

41. I love Clinque Quick Liner eye liner in Very Black

42. I dislike banana’s but love banana flavored things

43. I dislike cherry flavored things but love cherries

44. My brother and I are 6 years apart…he is the oldest.

45. I am addicted to CVS drugstores

46. I have a fear of body odor (my own)

47. I forget easier than I forgive.

48. I bite my fingernails

49. I love watching movies

50. I have a soundtrack to my life

The other day someone asked me if I was going to buy a class ring and I responded “No, the only ring I want on my finger is a diamond” while shaking the ring finger on my left hand. Since I am approaching 30 in a few years, the topic of marriage lingers in the front of my mind on a constant basis, I try not to think about it but the more I think about not thinking about it, the more it stays on my mind. What is it about the idea of that diamond that gets me so excited?

 On this journey of faith, I have come to realize that in order to keep growing, to keep moving closer to God I have to face and overcome trials and tribulations of many forms. If one goes through a long period of time without trouble, then they should be worried because they are no longer a threat to the devil. James 1 tells us that we should consider it pure joy when we face trials of many kinds because that testing of our faith develops perseverance and perseverance must finish its work so that we may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. Kinda sounds like the process a diamond has to go through. Most of us only see the finished product, we revel at the sparkle, the clarity and the shape but we never look at the pressure and heat it took to form that beautiful stone. Diamonds are specifically renown as a material with excellent abrasiveness, they hold polish extremely well and retain their lustre. Diamond is Greek for “unbreakable”. Shouldn’t we all strive to have the same characteristics? Let’s take a look at some of the properties of diamonds:

1.  Diamonds originate from deep within the Earth where high pressures and temperatures enable them to form and surface.

“High pressures and Temperatures enable them to form and surface”. That is such a powerful statement. The only way for a diamond to make it to the surface of the Earth is to be able to withstand and overcome the pressures of the Earth’s gravity and heat. 

2.  Diamonds are the hardest natural material known, where hardness is defined as resistance to scratching. Diamonds can be used to polish, cut or wear away any material, including other diamonds, only diamonds can scratch other diamonds.

When I think about the properties of a diamond I look at myself. One of the ways I describe myself is strong, not just physically but emotionally and mentally as well. At times I look at strength as a gift and a curse. Its a curse because I feel like so much pressure is put on me because I am strong, I can withstand more than the average person but its also a gift because I am not easily broken and other people look at my strength as a motivator for themselves. Just like a diamond, when we step out on faith and put our trust in God, we develop a confidence, a strength that doesn’t allow our spirit to be easily broken.

As Christians, we have the ability to reach and teach others that the testing of our faith should not only be welcomed but we should remain joyous in knowing that in the end we will be mature and complete. Proverbs 27:17 says “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another”. The meeting of minds can help people see ideas with new clarity, refine them and shape them into brilliant insights. Two friends who bring their thoughts together can help each other become sharper. So just as diamonds are used to polish other materials including other diamonds, Christians should be using our gifts and talents to uplift and polish other people, especially other Christians.

3.  Diamonds have the ability to resist breakage from forceful impact.

Hallelujah to that! So just like diamonds, have confidence in knowing that when you are a diamond in the rough, not yet polished or complete that God is still working on you and will continue until the job is compete. (Philippians 1:6 – being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.) Once you are complete and pure you will sparkle like the stars (Philippians 2:15 – so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe.) and have the ability to resist the pressures of the world and the forceful impacts of the weapons the enemy may throw at you.

God Bless

I decided this past Sunday that I could not afford to continue in the slump and was going to be more proactive in my reading and studying.  I didn’t want to worry about my financial situation but couldn’t help but be concerned with how I would going to make ends meet but I turned it over to God in faith. He blessed me with more than enough and asked me a very simple question. “What do I have to do to get you to love me unconditionally like I do you?” I was saddened to think that in fact I had been very inconsistent with my relationship with God. I have decided today that I am going to work on my consistency, not just with God but with every area of my life.

Hebrews 13:8 says that “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever” (NIV) and Philippians 2:5 says that “Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus” (NIV) so therefore we should all be the same yesterday and today and forever, which leads back to conisistancy. To be consistent means to have regularity, harmony and/or steady continuity. (www.merriam-webster.com) God would rather us commit 15 mins EVERY day to building a relationship with him instead of us spending an hour whenever we can find the time.

Take the time today to spend time with our Father and let him know that from this day forward, you are going to be consistent. Consistent with your faith, with your relationship with him and consistent with reading and studying the Word.

God Bless

As a new believer, having been saved only about 6 months, I constantly think about if I am doing everything right. Being extra cautious about the things that I say and especially the things that I do. The people that I am immediately attached t are beginning to feel neglected about my life change. They feel that I am “dissin” them for church and other “Godly” activities, that they no longer belong in my life, and they constantly have to watch what they say because they don’t want to “offend the Christian Girl”. I sometimes get the feeling that they think that I am all of a sudden supposed to be perfect and they are waiting for that one moment that I slip up so they can say “Ah Ha”, see that’s why I’m not a Christian.

In Colossians 3:1-10 it says:
1Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. <br>2Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.
3For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God.
4When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.
5Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry.
6Because of these, the wrath of God is coming.
7You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived.
8But now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. <br>9Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices
10and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator.

I know that I am doing the right thing by removing myself from worldly practices and ceasing to do what the world does because as we see verses 5, 7 and 8, that’s a rule for Holy Living but I now need to focus on verse 10 which is putting on my new self, being renewed in knowledge in the image of God.

It has been weighing heavily on my heart the way that Christians (myself included) treat each other and especially those that are not saved.  Right now I don’t want to focus on preaching to people to get them to know Jesus Christ, I just want to live my life the way Jesus would so when people look at me, they no longer see my face, they only see Jesus. If they love me, then they will love Christ too.

My life is a soundtrack, I can relate most of the major events in my life to a song. Certain songs trigger memories the same way that a smell can trigger memories in other. I have listened to a song by Kirk Franklin titled “The Last Jesus” many many times but it has never touched me the way that it did the other day. These are the lyrics:
I see you, I need you, but I don’t know your name
I touch you, say I love you, but that’s all you get for today
It’s easy, so easy, to tell you it’s gon be okay
When I don’t walk shoes, haven’t been through what you been through
Instead I push you away
Sunday everyone looks like you
But if our lives are cold inside tell me what’s the use

Too busy, forgive me, I’ve got problems of my own
It’s easier to say your help is on the way
But I was your help all along
We’re shouting, we’re dancing, but can the world see a change
Am I just too selfish to see, the love they need You put inside of me

If I am Your hands and Your feet, and if Your church is built inside of me
Where did we go wrong, we been here too long, we can’t see Your face anymore
It’s not the same anymore

Have mercy on us Jesus, please forgive us Jesus
I lost my purpose, if they can’t see You in me
See I lied too long, and I change it all today
Because I may be the only Jesus they see

If we say we love Jesus, but they can’t see our Jesus
Tell me what’s the use if they can’t see Jesus in you and me
No more excuses, we give it all away
Because we may be the only Jesus they see
There are certain parts of that song that really spoke to me. “Too busy, forgive me, I’ve got problems of my own. It’s easier to say your help is on the way, But I was your help all along”. I know that I am guilty of this. I have had people come to me with their problems but because I was just so consumed with my own life, I just shrugged them off and told them they should “pray about it.” I completely know the importance of prayer, because without a strong prayer life, nothing else matters. But if someone approaches me and they don’t know how to pray, trying to talk to our Father will be a difficult task for us. Its just like a real family. We all have our Mothers and Fathers and we can go to them with any problems that we have, knowing they will listen to us and help us through it because they love us unconditionally and they don’t want to see us suffer in pain but sometimes you just need to take your problem to your brother or sister because it can be a little intimidating to go to our parent with certain situations. Its the same with us and God. That person is coming to us because they need that brother or sister moment. Once we talk to them, we may realize that its a situation that we need to go to our Father with, but to make it less scary we can offer to go with them as support (praying with them).

I have just become more aware that I need to make sure when people look at me, the way that I am living, that they always see Jesus in me because I may be the only Jesus they see. I am a direct representation of Christ and I need to make sure I represent him in the best way.

God Bless

Today is the second day of the New Year and God has been putting some things on my heart. 2008 was an especially trying year with its fair share of highs and lows but the one event that had the greatest impact on me was the ending of my 1 year relationship. I just couldn’t understand why something so good would need to end. I asked questions like, “Did I do something wrong?”, and “God why are you doing this to me?”. I hadn’t realized then that the reason why I couldn’t understand what was happening was because I had no faith. Hebrews 11:1 says that faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. I was so uncertain of what I couldn’t see, I just didn’t get it.

Over the past few days God has worked many things out for me, and one was understanding why. I realize now that I was relying too much on my ex for happiness and his faith. He is such a faithful God fearing man and I got used to just surviving off of his faith but 2 Thessalonians 3:6-15 warns against idleness. I had become idle with my faith. 2 Thessalonians 3:8 says “nor did we eat anyones food without paying for it. On the contrary, we worked day and night, laboring and tolling so that we would not be a burden to any of you”. Verse 9 states, “We did this, not because we do not have the right to such help, but in order to make ourselves a model for you to follow”, verse 10 concludes, “… If a man will not work, he shall not eat”.

God let me know that if I was not willing to do the work and earnestly seek him, then I couldn’t reap the benefits of being a faitful servant so he stripped me of the one thing that meant the most to me. This has been a hard lessoned learned but definitely the wake up call that I needed. Being out of that relationship is not easy, its been one of the hardest things I’ve had to do but has been one of the best things that God has ever done for me.

I am now working on strengthening MY faith, putting in my own work and really being a servant to God. He has restored my joy and I can smile like I’ve never smiled before! Last year I could only smile when good things happened, but now I smile through the good and the bad because I know who I am. I am a child of God with the best role model there is as an older brother. My daddy will never leave me and I no longer have to worry about tomorrow. I smile because I am free from the cares of the world, and my sight is now on God. I look forward to waking up everyday to see just what God has in store for me.

To all those that read this, I encourage you against idleness. Even if you surround yourself with faithful believers, you can’t continue to eat off their plates, you can’t make it into heaven on the good works of others. Their invitation does not say them plus one. Each person will be judges on their own. So become active in your faith, its as simple as redeclaring Jesus Christ as the Lord of your life and praising God for being so merciful. Turn your sights away from the world and those around you and earnestly seek my Fathers face!

God bless.